There Is Nothing Wrong With Him

Imagine believing something is wrong with you at five years old because your brain feels too loud.

Some children are not giving you a hard time.
They are having a hard time.

And sometimes the hardest part of parenting is watching your child struggle while the world keeps expecting them just to do better or just be better.

My son had gone over two months without behavioral marks at school after introducing new supports and accommodations.

Then, suddenly, four marks in two weeks.

At first, I felt discouraged, especially because part of me doesn’t fully agree with behavioral plans, but that’s a reflection for a different day.

Then one morning between the two “off” weeks, he woke up sick.

And it clicked for me all over again how quickly nervous systems unravel when little bodies are already working overtime.

Especially the children trying so hard every single day just to hold it all together during the school day.

One of those nights, he said to me through tears, “My brain is going crazy. I think something’s wrong with me.”

And I swear something inside me shattered hearing that.

Because I want Theo to know there is absolutely nothing wrong with him.

His brain is not bad.
His body is not difficult.
His nervous system sometimes reaches max capacity faster than other children.

Watching your child struggle emotionally, mentally, and physically while also knowing they are trying their absolute best is one of the most helpless feelings as a parent.

There are moments I want to scream from the rooftops:

“He’s trying. He’s really trying. Can’t anyone else see that?”

And at the same time, there are so many moments under our own roof where my tank is empty, too. It can be incredibly difficult to meet Theo where he needs me when we’re both operating at max capacity in different ways.

My heart starts racing, my mind starts swirling, and my patience shortens.

I can feel the tingling pins and needles move through my arms and legs, the pent-up energy inside my body desperately needing somewhere to escape.

And honestly, it’s humbling to realize that the same thing that often happens to our children is also happening to us as adults.

The difference is that many adults are often better at masking it, or, if you’re anything like me, you were never even taught to listen to your body in the first place.

Before learning more about ADHD, neurodivergence, and beginning somatic therapy myself, I had no idea that listening to my body was even something I should be paying attention to.

I moved through so much of life disconnected from the signals my body was sending me every single day.

The racing heart, tight chest, constant overstimulation, swirling thoughts, chronic exhaustion, irritability.

I didn’t understand that my body was keeping score the entire time.

And I think so many of us are moving through life completely unaware that our bodies are trying to communicate with us day in and day out.

Just because no one can physically see what’s happening inside our bodies doesn’t mean it isn’t there or that there isn’t more happening beneath the surface than simply labeling someone ‘difficult.’

Most of us were simply never taught how to notice.

I think people assume that support systems magically “fix” things. But that hasn’t been our experience at all. Real life is much more layered than that. A child can be growing, regulating more, and building confidence, yet hit a hard patch when their body is overwhelmed, sick, overstimulated, or simply exhausted.

Not every hard moment means the progress has disappeared; sometimes it just means the nervous system is overwhelmed.

And maybe some children don’t need harsher consequences or more shame. Believe me, my son already feels shame on his own.

Maybe they need adults who can distinguish between defiance and distress.

✨ NUDGE WORTH NOTICING:

Children often unravel most around the adults they feel safest with. A nervous system in distress is not always a nervous system refusing.

✨ JOURNAL PROMPTS TO SIT WITH:

Can I recognize the difference between someone struggling emotionally and someone intentionally trying to make my life harder?

Where in my life might I be misreading overwhelm, shutdown, or dysregulation as intentional behavior in others or even in myself?

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